Cascade

I got caught.

That's how it all started in the first place; my recovery. My wife knew of my past pornography use, even before we married. We talked openly about our past struggles, yet I fell back into the trap. I don't think I ever 'got over' the pornography addiction I had while a teen and young adult. I somehow got through a two year mission, but was slowly seduced by the 'dark side' through video games and public media (and to be completely honest, just everyday life, some women/girls let it all hang out too easily) and slipped back into the addiction. My wife and I struggled with slip ups here and there for some fours years before I started going to the ARP. All through that time it was never treated as an addiction, just a character weakness, a 'problem' that needed addressing. Nothing more. I kept thinking, 'I just need to try harder, play less computer, watch less TV, maybe we need to have sex more often' and other such nonsense. Pornography use has nothing to be with sex, lack or overabundance thereof. Its a mental disease, a true addiction.

I freely admit that I got caught. Its what I need to change, it spurred me to realize I was heading down a deep, dark and deadly path. I could not see it on my own. I believe the lord set events in motion to help me come back to the truth, back to the gospel. Back to him.

So as odd as it may sound, I'm grateful that these events have taken place. The bitter, sin-wracked soul that I was was plucked, arrebatado, from sin. I've always liked that word. It means plucked, picked, so to save is to pluck from danger and sin.